Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
