I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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