operation harelip BJ is a go
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
