I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
