He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
