The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
