Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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