I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
