she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
