I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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