But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
