Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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