are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
