last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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