Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
