Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
