After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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