she was so not down for the gang bang
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
