that's an acceptable place to lick
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
