just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize