Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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