these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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