My liver just broke up with me...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
