you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
