That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
