why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
