A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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