my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Randomize
