Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I could fuck to npr.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
