where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
