No stitches, just platelets and will power
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Randomize
