dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
