When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
