i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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