The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
