He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
