i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
What drink are we having for lunch?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
