Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
