You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
