I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
