It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize