They should really pass out barf bags in church
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
