I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
