so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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