Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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