New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
