just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
