I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize