she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
