Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
