You work out of a Hotel?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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