so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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