dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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