apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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