Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
