I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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