New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize