I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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