well I can't set my house on fire every night
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
