I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
