tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
