she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's shark week go big or go home
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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