I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
