I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I believe in your delicious
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
