i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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